When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
