wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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