I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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