why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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