If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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