I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
