Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
