I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
