I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
