Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
