All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
