im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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