it was like his penis was on wheels.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
