chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
4 words: hood of his car
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
