but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
This is the prime rib incident all over again
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
