my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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