Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
