Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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