I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
