I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You don't make any sense
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