he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
