I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
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Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
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He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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