i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
