If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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