Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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