somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
