Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Randomize
