My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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