I hope mine doesn't look like that
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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