You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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