I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
