Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
