Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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