I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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