I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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