well I can't set my house on fire every night
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
