haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
