i was rollin on her like bob the builder
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
