and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
