C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize