"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
