Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
