I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
