I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
