Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i wish my penis had a tongue
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.