Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.