no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
