Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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