Apparently you make a good broom.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
