Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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