Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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