And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...