My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.