So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.