I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!