Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Will you blow on my dice?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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