the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess