I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
