Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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