"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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