I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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