Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
