Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
