i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
