New low: just hacked my moms facebook
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
