I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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