yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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