i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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