I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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