She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize