I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
